Well, as usual, not being able to find a publisher for it here in Ireland, I sent it onto Richard Krawiec at Jacar Press in the US. Richard and I had had dealings before, and I thought he might be open to the poem sequence, appreciating it for the humour and word play. Initially, he wrote back to me to inform me that the piece was simply too long to appear in his online poetry journal One. But then a few days later, he got back to me and proposed printing the poem cycle on a broadsheet.
I was delighted, of course. So, the next thing was to find the right event to launch it. After discussing it with my afternoon advanced students, they agreed to read the piece for me, one student taking a sonnet, so six students in all. I worked with them for three whole days on getting the pronunciation right, we had a lot of fun working through it in the class. I rarely bring my own poetry into a classroom setting, but I felt that this piece was right, and the students seemed to really enjoy themselves on the night. They got to meet Richard, who was on holidays in Ireland at the time, and on his way to France to promote one of his novels there. So, it really was a wonderful event.
Many thanks to Richard, and to Declan, Ross and Eamon for allowing us to participate in the Sunflower Sessions. And finally a great big thank you to my wonderful afternoon class, you guys were great. Whenever I read the poem now, it is your voices that I hear!
A Short Comely Comedie, in the Manner of Shakespeare
I.
Horatio:
O wag- tongued wench, I love it when it darts
So the wood is all but wooed by you,
Beneath the mistletoe wonder of your
Hoseless thighs, where I could be a-swim,
And floatingly so, a boy buoyant upon
Your ephemeral skin , and likewise embracing
You in hose-enveloped fashion, as is my
Transgendered nature, en the parlance of nos jours,
And so together abed, in both mind and
Bodily accordance, conjoining proper,
So that limbs and blessed thought activate,
Whereas before were but pale fantasy,
Now so utterly entwined, that we would move
Fluidly twofold; as in the idiom of all true scripture.
II.
Orlando
“Hark now Sire! Thy gay apparel
Doth inspire my wardrobe, as I do,
In truth, fully appreciate the fashionable
Line that your opaque hose do cut.”
What twin pillars of Hercules these thighs,
Erect with such sublime scaffold and do guild
These loins. But God’s blood! I think that I could
Devour this sweet Lord’s most tenderest
And handsome, and assuredly gentle,
Parts, as indeed I would the same with some
Other, though more common, sacred beast.
“Though sir, I fear that if this walk with me
You continue to endure so wondrously
Attired, by others thou might indeed be sired!
III.
Horatio
Ever constant, ever startling Nature.
This face it shaped, suggesting a mild
Temperament, an innocence unrivalled!
Just like my dog, it would look so appealingly
At its Mistress Master, with eyes which could
Endear the very hardest heart and render thus
Into quivering jelly, and in scientific fashion,
And once done, and the longed- for meat absconded,
All taking place in the minutest calculating second,
Then t’is as dismissive of me as is my cur,
With four legs to transport solely its nose
Onto the next culinary delight.
“Your mind too it speaks, though in metaphor,
As humans do, yet talking of meaty things!”
IV.
Orlando
“Dear sweet Horatio, my so finely sculpted
And perceptive friend. What would you have
Nature fashion you? But contrary-wise, all surface
Sweet twice-fold, so adding more sweet to sweet?
Confectioning for you all patisserie
And chocolatier? So that you would gorge
Alone on the sweetened velvet milk of udders,
And such tablets alone, till you were sickened of all
cow!
Yet only because you had not tasted her
Succulent meats, or rather those of her brother,
Butchered for you, in rich cascades of blood;
The real treasured robes of its glistening life fluid,
Water packed with bounteous nutrient,
The scarlet plasma which succours life.”
V
Horatio
And murderously cruel too. As a dog would.
“ Open your mouth and bark! This bouche beholden,
Luscious lips budding there above the chin,
To purse and smile and sometime even grin.
All in the manner to cajole, flirt and rise one.
And yet, with a mere inclination of the will
And other muscles tug and there arise incisors
Unfolding carnivorous, driven by the tongue
And which crave blood murderous. These enamelled
Gnashers which would rip and cut the very flesh
From the bone, of all manner and shape of beast!
Break clean off the head of a partridge, or mere
shrimp;
Delightfully cool decapitate whatever poor beast
Should wander into your line of fire.”
VI.
Orlando
“Such as you now find yourself in, sweet travesty
Of a man, or at least in how you appear. So, tell
Me now, sweet Horatio. Does your mind work
In accordance with your meat, as clearly below
You would seem to be inclined to rise to me?
And in truth I must confess to being much taken
By your gentle preoccupation. Let me but lend
You Sir, a gentler, and more helping hand. Ah,
Yes! I believe that I have the matter now firmly
In my grip, as flesh cannot lie, at least not like
The tongue. So, this be logos everyone. In that
In this hose-bejewelled organ, that I now feel,
Pulses the truth, again in blood, so that I can
Have a handle on it, and can commence industry.”
( First published by the award winning Jacar Press USA, with thanks to the novelist, poet and editor Richard Krawiec)
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